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Jokes from fellow Bookworms

Knock,knock. Who's there?lettuce.lettuce who? Lettuce marry.

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Q: it starts with an E and ends with an e but ahs no latter in it? what is it?

A: envelope

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one day this girl walked into the store and she said i would like to but this tv and they said we dont sell to blonds .the next day she came in with brown hair and she said i would like to buy this tv and they said we don't sell to blonds next day she come in with blue hair and say's i would like to buy this tv and they said we don't sell to blonds and she said how did you know i am a blond and they go cause it is a microwave not a tv

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YOUR SO STUPID YOU  CLIMBED OVER A GLASS WALL TO SEE WHAT WAS ON THE OTHER SIDE!!!     LOL:]

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Why did the turky cross the road?? To prove that he was'nt a chicken.

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WHAT   DID   MOMMY   DOOR   SAY   TO  THE   BABBY  DOOR?
      YOUR   LOOKING  PRETTY   aDOORable

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i mad up a joke. way did the cow wont to go too the other side???brcause he wonted too mooow the gress.
                                      i made that up jest would like you too know

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What  can a lizard do  that a snake  can)t?
                                      streach  there  legs

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   i  got  a  good   joke  for  you  one  day  a  easter  bunny  siad  pull  my  finger  so  i   did  and  he  siad  ah  jellybeans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!H  HA  HA HA HA H HA HA

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Q. why is 6 scared of 7?  Q. why did billclinton cut down all the trees?
A. 789                              A. to make room for the bushes

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how do u make a tissue dance??

                  Answer:Put a little boogie in it

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Why do pilice man smell ??
answer:cause there on duty

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whatd  u call a a boat filled with good students??
answer:a scholar ship

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If a n american is in a bed room than whos in the bathroom??
answer:a uripeein

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whats a cats favorite food??
answer : Micecream

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what did Mrs. claus say to saunta claus when he asked her to check the weather ??
answer: rain,dear

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what can fly without wings??
anser:time

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why did the little girl think her grandfather was getting a new set of wheels?
answer:because he was getting re-tired

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what does god say   when he/she sneezes??
anser:bless me

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what is yellow has lots of small feet and carries books?
answer: a school bus

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dose your face hurt yes good because it is killing me.

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TEACHER: TONIGHT'S HOMEWORK CLASS, IS TO WRITE DOWN FOUR WORDS.
                 THIS KID ANDY GOES HOME, AND ASKS HIS MOM A QUESTION.
SHE WAS TRYING TO PUT THE GROCERIES UP.
    
ANDY: MOM,DO YOU KNOW A WORD?

MOM:  SHUT-UP.

                THEN ANDY GOES TO HIS SISTER,WHO WAS ON THE PHONE.

ANDY:  SISTER, DO YOU KNOW A WORD?

SISTER:  UH-HUH UH-HUH UH-HUH
    
               THEN HE GOES TO HIS BROTHER,WHO WAS WATCHING SUPER-MAN.

ANDY:  BROTHER, DO YOU KNOW A WORD?

BROTHER:  SUPER-MAN!!

                ANDY,FINALLY GOES TO HIS FATHER WHO WAS FIXING THE TOILET..

ANDY:  DADDY,DO YOU KNOW A WORD?

DADDY: IN THE TOILET.

             THE NEXT MORNING ANDY WENT TO SCHOOL.THE TEACHER ASKED HIM IF HE HAD HIS FOUR WORDS

ANDY:  SHUT-UP.

TEACHER:  DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE OFFICE?

ANDY:  UH-HUH UH-HUH UH-HUH.
                     
                 THE TEACHER TAKES HIM TO THE PRINCIPLE.

PRINCIPLE: WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

ANDY:  SUPER-MAN!!!

PRINCIPLE:  WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

ANDY: IN THE TOILET!!!!!

                GET IT????? LOLOLOL!!!!

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HERE IS ONE OF THE ONES I MADE UP.
WHY DIDN'T THE SKELETON CROSS THE ROAD?
        HE DIDN'T HAVE THE GUTS!!!!!LOL

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why did the girl throw the clock?    the answer is      
                                                       she wanted to see time fly.

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What is black and white and has red all over it?  lt is a newspaper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the chcken store for supper.

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Why did the turkey cross the road?  Because it was the chicken's day off.  

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Why didn't the skelton cross the road? Because he had no guts.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Kelly. Kelly who? Kelly's belly is full of jelly

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knok knok, who's there?orange, orange who?   { you repeat it 4 or 5 times}  ORANGE  you  glad I  didn't say  orange

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WHAT DID THE DUCK SAY AFTER HE BOUGHT LIPSTICK?

PUT IT ON BILL!!!!!!!!

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joke: did  you know that deers don't  have uncles they only have ants !!!!!

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Riddle: what is something that is yellow has orange feet ???

Anser: baby chick !!!!

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knok knok, who's there? little old lady,little old lady who? I didn't know you can yoddle. Hahahaha

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   HERE IS A TREAKY JOKE WELL ASK SOMEBODY THIS QUESTION: WHAT HAS 4 EYES BUT CAN'T SEE ,CANT WALK BUT LIVES= MISSISSIPI. TRY TO SPELL THE STATE MISSISIPPI VERY QUICKLY SO THEY WILL GET SO CONFUSED.

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Riddle:  A cute dog comes in a store the clerk says, "Ah, what a cute dog, would you like to perchase something?  The dog says, "Bow, wow, wow."  the clerk says, " How about anthor Bow, wow, wow?"  "Bow, wow, wow!" says the dog.  How many w's are in bow, wow, wow?                          
                                                                Answer:None!

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hey what can shave 30 breads and still have one/a baribar/lol hehehe

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What do you call a bananna being chased by a gorilla??? A bananna split.

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Why did the rabit cross the road??? Cause the chicken wasn't avalible

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why did the chicken cross the road?      
because it was the ducks day off

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1.    Why did tigger stick his head in to the toilet?
2. What does Lightning where under his pants?
3. Who  is Peter pans best friend?
answers are down there
1. to look for pooh
2. Thunderpants
3. stinkerbell

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reddle:there  were two men in a cabben  in the woods there was nothing in the cabben how did thay die                                             answer:from a plain crash it was the cabben in a plain.

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1. Why can't u tell a joke to a snake?
2. What washes up on tiny beaches?
3. Why r frogs always happy?
4. How is it possible for shara to be in forth grade  for 27 years?
5. what  is the last thing you take off when u go to bed?
6. why did Jennifer go outside  with her purse open?
7. if washington went to washington wearing white woolies while washington's wife waited in wilmington how many w's r there in all?
8. which is better and old ten dollor or a new 1
9. what did the painter say to the boy after he spiled paint on him?
10. what is the difference between a flea and a dog?
11. which instrument never tells the truth ?
                Answers
1.because u can't pull his leg. 2 microwaves. 3 because they eat what eva bugs them. 4 she teached forth grade. 5 your feet (off the floor) 6 she was expecting some change in the weather. 7 there were no w's in all. 8 an old te dollor bill because a new "one" is only worth 1 dollor. 9 r u all white. 10 a dog can have fleas but fleas can't have dogs. 11 a lyer

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"What do you put in to a barrel to make it lighter," the anwser is-a hole.    ha ha ha ha!  

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HOW DID THE GUM GET ACROS THE ROAD? : IT GOT STUCK TO THE CHIKENS LEG!

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knock knock .who's there orange.Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me go with you

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What do you call twin brothers with drums on their heads?
TOM TOM :-)

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1.      What is a bee with a low buzz?
A mumble bee.

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2.     What four letters would scare off a burglar?
 O, I C U   ( Oh, i see you)

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3.       Why did Mickey Mouse go to space?
To find Pluto.

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what room isn't in a huanted house?          (a living room

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